A klutz by any other name.....

In use since the early 1800's, klutz originated from the Yiddish word "klots' meaning "wooden block." 

The Urban Dictionary defines klutz as "A person who is never without a scrape or bruise. One who always finds a way to trip, bump into things and people. And on occasion, they partially knock themselves out by walking into walls, doorways, and corners or cabinets and desks." 

Commonly used for clumsy, awkward or foolish people, Klütz (or "Kluetz") is also a surname and a town in the Nordwestmecklenburg district, Mecklenburg-Western Pomerania, Germany.

I am beginning to think I should change my name to Cathy Klutz because I seem to have a propensity to fall, bump into or trip over the slightest thing.

Case in point: last New Year's Eve, I somehow managed to fall on my front steps, ending in me doing a faceplant in the frozen front garden, which sent me to the local hospital, where I spent several days with "facial cellulitis".

Since then I have managed to fall UP flights of stairs several times, trip over miniscule pieces of dust on the floor, fall into a friend's kitchen while entering her house and two days ago I did a graceless tumble onto my front porch. I am always covered in bruises and have aches and pains everywhere. Luckily, so far this year nothing requiring a hospital stay has happened. Knock wood!

About the recent tumble. I had gone out to talk to somebody and then returned to my front hall, attempting to close the storm door behind me. Couldn't quite do it so I turned around to get a better grip. I am not totally clear on how it happened, but the door went OUT instead of IN and while trying to stop it, my slippered foot slipped on the hall step and I went down on my hands and knees on the cement porch floor. While down the dastardly porch door swung back and whacked me in the head, at which time I shrank back, ramming my tailbone into the threshold of the house.

The next thing I did was scan the neighborhood to make sure nobody had seen this happen. I kneeled there for while before trying to get up, thinking I would use the storm door to help pull myself up. But then I pictured it coming off the hinges and sending me crashing back down with it on top of me. After all, it had already attacked me once and I just didn't trust it!

By this time, several cars had started coming down the street, so I put one knee up and made it look like I was trying to find something on the porch (perhaps a contact lens?) so I didn't look too foolish.

After they had driven by, I crawled to the porch railings and pulled myself up then hurried into the house, where I sat laughing at the ridiculousness of it all.

Today, my shoulder, the side of my neck, my butt and head are all sore. But it could have been worse, I could have ended up in the hospital.

I learned a valuable lesson from this. 

BEWARE of storm doors, they are just waiting for their chance to take you down!!

What about you? Do you have items around your house that you swear are out to get you? If you do, why not leave a comment to share your story and warn others about them lol.