No time left for me...

Only a few short years ago I had so much time.

Time to quilt as much as I wanted, I used to whip my pictorial quilts out, often several a month. Now it takes me months to make a small quilt with 4 blocks.

Time to take photos, seemed like I always had photos to post or edit, nowadays I'm lucky if I have time to snap a quick shot and throw it online.

Time to ride my bike daily...and time to sweat with Richard or work out with Bob.

Plus time to do all the other things I did, hand water all the gardens, clean out a cellar, have yard sales, do art type activities with my grandson or spend the day at the park with him, crochet, knit, read, draw  and normal stuff like household chores...plus spend time on Facebook visiting friends.

Now it often seems like all the time I have is time to wonder what the hell happened to all that time?

Perhaps this big fella stole it all?

"Time Thief" copyright 2009

Star Gazing

For years my youngest son has wanted to get a telescope. Not your average run of the mill telescope but this beauty, the Orion XT8. He actually wanted a BIGGER one but this is what he could afford so he settled for it....for now.

As you can tell, this is NOT your typical telescope! Even with this he was worried that he wouldn't be able to see anything worth seeing.

Of course until the day this arrived the night skies had been clear and the weather kind of warm, but that night the sky was full of clouds and he was so upset, but kept going out to check things out. Eventually they began to break up so he took the telescope out and right away we looked at Mars !

Then we just looked at some random stars that appeared here and there. Eventually me and my grandson, who is 11, got cold and went inside. But Tony stuck with it, at 24 he is able to stand the cold more I guess, plus he had the excitement of doing something he had waited so long to do to help keep him warm.

I'm glad he did, because around 11 he ran in and said "MOM! Come see Jupiter!!" I was thinking no way is he seeing Jupiter....but when I put my eye to the scope and saw that planet, stripes and all (we need a better eyepiece and filter so we can see the red spot though) and it's moons...well...WOW! Just wow!! I ran in and got my grandson to come out and see it too...lol

It was just so totally awesome to think that we were sitting in our driveway looking at Jupiter.

We went in after that, but Tony went out AGAIN later because he was determined to see one more thing. Which he did and woke me up around 2:30 to see if I wanted to see it. I just couldn't get up so he took a photo for me instead. This is what he saw....recognize it??

Again I was blown away by this. But not as much as the night of the 28th when I saw it for myself! Along with more looks at Jupiter and Mars on a much clearer night. And then..Tony started looking for two specific things that he wanted to see that night....and found them! The first was this galaxy...photo isn't that great, we need a camera adapter (see how this love of his has become a shared one now??) but it is a photo that he took of what we saw. The Whirlpool Galaxy and the galaxy it interacts with. These two galaxies are 23 (give or take four million) LIGHT YEARS away....can you imagine? And we were looking at them..

To top off the night, he found the last item on his list for that night: The Great Globular Cluster in Hercules
We don't have a photo of that but you can see one by clicking the above link.

I have to admit that I am so thrilled with this new hobby and look forward to many nights spent looking at the sky and seeing stars, planets, galaxies, and nebulas that we have only been able to see on TV or in photos previously. It is an awe inspiring moment when it happens...one not soon forgotten!

Been awhile..

Didn't realize it has been so long since my last post...what can I say..the heart attack in Sept. knocked me on my butt for quite awhile and then a whole bunch of other health things started. Of course "life" is always an issue and this winter has just been so long and cold and I am NOT a cold weather person at all!

But now, the weather is getting warmer and even though I am still not even close to being my self, the warmth of the sun draws me outside as often as I can get out there. I may not be able to walk very much now, or do heavy yard work like I did last year, but just sitting in the sun lifts my spirits...watching seedlings emerge from beneath the soil, birds gathering materials for their nests and bees flitting here and there reminds me that spring is a time of new beginnings, birth, life...and gives me hope that I will also experience some changes for the better between now and autumn.

My ex husband moved into the 2nd floor apartment in January, mainly to be close in case I needed him to watch our sons because of my health again and he is the one with the real green thumb...also the one with all the power tools and love of working outside on garden projects. So I have been designing and he has been making the designs happen. The yard is going to be fabulous when we're done and I am looking forward to that.

here is work in progress shot...

Until then, I will continue to do my small part on yard improvements, plantings, etc and just spend as much time as possible basking in the warmth of the sun and trying to heal both my spirits and my body...

What will my kids do with my body when I'm dead?

As I grow older, I am beginning to worry about things I never considered when I was younger. One of those things is how are my children going to afford the funeral expenses when I pass away? 

Many years ago I worked for a company that had life insurance as a benefit, yes they deducted the cost from my pay, but it was an easy painless way to get it. That company however, chose to go where they could pay people substantially lower wages and offer no benefits at all. With them went my life insurance and all other great benefits they offered their employees who worked on USA soil. Which is an entirely different rant that I won't go into now!

Back to the subject at hand. I have not been able to work for over a decade, there are a few reasons, some health related, some family related, but with an income that barely meets expenses the idea of life, or burial insurance policies is downright laughable. I once told my kids to just strip me of all ID and leave me on the side of the road and I would be buried as a Jane Doe, or to bury me in the back yard. Of course I was joking, but inside I was thinking how are my 2 sons (both on SSI for disabilities and handicaps) and my daughter (a single mother) ever going to be able to afford things if-no when-I die? Not that I have any intention of doing that any time soon, but with life being so unpredictable one never knows when the final curtain will come down.

The other day I was talking about this with my neighbor and she told me about an option I had never even thought of, gifting your body to medical science. She has registered for this herself which is one reason I decided to check into it further. I have to admit though that the main selling point is the cost, which is a mere $25.00. 

You read that right. My family will receive my cremains for free, if they can pick them up, if they need to be mailed there is a nominal fee. The return of cremains service itself will be prepaid by me when I send in my forms. Everything will be handled by the organization and they will even assist my family with other details. For instance they will immediately make arrangements with a mortuary transport company to pick up my body and transport it to their facility. They will make the arrangements to register the death with my state's Dept. of Vital Records and also assist my family with obtaining copies of the death certificate.

I have made my decision and will be contacting them tomorrow to set this in motion as soon as possible, just in case. I like knowing that my children will not have to deal with anything other than what to do with my ashes when I get sent to them. I do know that I don't want to be buried, which is just another unneeded expense in my eyes. If they want to do the burial thing that's up to them, otherwise they can just stick my box of ashes next to my mother's ashes on the bookshelf, or throw them into the wind somewhere.

Another thing I really like is that they offer a follow up letter to let my family know which medical and educational programs benefited from my gift.  I also really like knowing that I can still donate organs upon my death to help save the lives of others..and then continue to help save lives through medical research.

That is who I am, I have taken care of people my whole life. What better way to honor my memory than to let me continue to do it even after I am gone. Not only strangers, but my own family, by making what would otherwise be a very stressful, expensive situation as easy as possible for them.

If you are like me and have no insurance to help cover your funeral expenses when you're gone and would like to learn more, here is the non-profit organization I will be contacting "Anatomy Gifts Registry". Check out their site, read the article and information there and maybe you will decide that gifting your body to science is right for you too.

UPDATE:The day after I posted this, I was rushed by ambulance to the hospital because I was having a heart attack. How's that for a coincidence? I had 2 stents put in, went home a day later and then went back the next day, again by ambulance because of a possible SECOND heart attack.
Besides thinking that this was it..and worrying about my family, the one thought that hit me was that I didn't have time to sign up for this plan. At the risk of jinxing myself again, after realizing how close death is to us all every single day, I will be setting this plan up on the Oct 1.

My Green Thumb has Turned Black

I never actually had a green thumb to begin with, but I have always been able do to pretty well growing flowers and vegetables outside. However, after two years of rather dismal results, I have decided that this will be the last year I plant vegetables. I might still try flowers, but judging from this year's results with those, I might not..

I have heard that nobody is having a very good year with gardens (in my neck of the woods anyway) but that doesn't help explain LAST year-or the year before-! I really can't figure it out. Everything sprouts beautifully and the plants are soon bursting with beautiful buds, making me look forward to the wonderful meals ahead. And then, almost overnight it seems, things start looking pretty darn bad.

The first year I planted, I had so many zucchini and eggplants that we were eating them several times a week! I was giving tomatoes away because we couldn't keep up with them! The same with the hot peppers, bags of them went to the neighbors.

Last year, no zucchini at all and only a couple of eggplants, they were doing great and then...well...they weren't.

This year is even worse. I branched out into the yard so I could try planting in different areas and add more crops. I was thrilled to see how well the peas and green beans were doing, not to mention the zucchini, yellow squash and eggplant. The tomatoes, peppers and cucumbers were doing great also.

Green Beans and Peas ...when they died they were about 2 feet tall and bearing pods :-(

Then it happened. The buds began to fall off, vines and leaves began turning brown and decaying, any vegetables that  appeared didn't grow very big or ended up shriveling away. The beautiful peas that were almost ready to pick seemed to die overnight, we didn't get to eat any at all, the same thing happened to the green beans. It was so sad to see all my hard work end like that.


Such sad looking yellow squash and zucchini plants, last week these were beautiful plants..what happened?



Even the tomato plants which always do wonderful have failed me this year, giving up only a few cherry tomatoes a day and the big ones, they don't even get red, only a pale orange. I got tired of waiting because they just weren't ripening and squeezed a couple, only to find they were soft. I picked them and we have eaten them, but the flavor is lacking.

The only thing that is yielding a good crop are the cucumbers. Which is pretty surprising considering that all 3 past  years I have not been able to pick ONE measly cucumber..LOL I have also gotten 2 VERY small eggplants and a handful of green peppers and jalapenos, but again, they grow to a certain small size and grow no further. BTW, yes I watered and fed and weeded and talked to them and all those good things.

So I think maybe the garden needs to rest. Actually maybe the whole YARD needs a rest! Most of the flower seeds I planted did not sprout. I planted herbs TWICE and they didn't grow either. Buds are falling off the Rose of Sharon bushes like raindrops and well established flowers aren't looking very perky either.

I have to wonder if it is just me. Am I toxic to anything that grows from the earth? I really do wonder because the first year, when things grew so well, the ex-husband did a lot of the tending and that man can plant a dead stick and have it grow into a beautiful hedge! Unfortunately for the crops, ( and the kids too) he is no longer coming around for some reason, and the garden seems to be suffering because of it.

So I ask..how is YOUR garden doing this year?

LOCAL PHOTOGRAPHERS (RI) I have a GREAT deal for you!

If you are a small business, by which I mean no studio, you work from home and are maybe just starting out, I am going to be selling off a bunch of items I bought for props, including: 

ABC and 1234 foam blocks

this wagon, basket, and hat

this tub

this wicker heart, good for engagement, weddings, maternity, etc!

this rocking chair, I used it natural, paint it however you like!

this doll bed which is the perfect size for newborns, just add a folded blanket or quilt for a mattress

this chicken!

this hat

Also:
a small Christmas tree (no decorations included) 
more stuffed items, including a very big bunny with long floppy ears, and tiny teddy bears etc for newborns
some small toys for infants, musical ones, wooden cars, etc
many little hats, things to use as wraps or slings, a couple of diaper covers and long elf hats in red and white for Christmas
 
and much more, not quite sure exactly what I do have, those are what I remember (because I used them) some items I never did use.

I also have standing foam numbers, BIG ones for birthdays..I have the #'s 1-2-3.

I would be willing to sell everything as a package, in fact would prefer to do it that way.

If you aren't a photographer, but know somebody who is, please share this with them. I live in Pawtucket and want to sell these items soon.

If interested drop me a PM, leave a message in the comments or send me an email to catlewi@yahoo.com and put "PHOTO PROPS" in the subject line.

Thanks!

What Lies Ahead

To prepare for the task before me today:

• I went to bed early (1:47AM) 
• Slept well (between the 2-3 trips to the bathroom)
• Woke up refreshed and ready to go (finished the partial pot of coffee and have a 2nd one started) 
• Put on my grubby clothes (well ok, I do that every day if I don't have to go anyplace..lol) 
• Have already watered the gardens and as soon as Josh is gone I will begin working.

What is this job that I have planned, you ask? Oh, you didn't ask? That's ok, because I know you are secretly dying to know but are just too shy to ask, I will tell you anyway!

Today is whip the studio back into shape day.

The Studio....BEFORE!

Alright, as you know, the studio (aka cellar) does NOT look like that anymore. I did do quite a lot of work down there getting the space set up to use as a studio and then as often happens, life intruded and things ground to a halt.

This collage is how it looked after a LOT of work. As you can see it was almost finished. Basically just had to put items away on shelves and then I could get busy creating in this wonderful new space.

The Studio, almost done!

Sadly, I have to admit that it doesn't even look like that anymore. Things have been moved down to the cellar, boxes from the small storage area I sectioned off were dragged out to go through for yard sales, I have pulled things apart looking for craft and art supplies to bring upstairs to work with. You get the idea, I'm sure.

I have made several attempts to go down there and work on it that have failed. But today...today is different! I am ready and I am doing this!!

If you don't hear from me by nightfall, send a search party!